Let’s face it. Relationships are HARD. In our day to day interactions, we come across a lot of people. Whether it be a marriage, parent/child, sibling, friend or work relationship, it isn’t always easy. Although, sometimes we make it much harder than it needs to be.
How many of you have people in your lives that have expectations? <raising hand> How many of you have people in your life that expect a lot from you? <raising hand> I don't think there is anyone on this planet that doesn't have someone in their life that expects a lot from them. I know I do. On the flip side, I also expect a lot of others. I also know we have people in our lives we old dear that don't exactly tell us what they expect, even though they have these high expectations. When the expectation is not met, then they are upset. That affects our relationships, even though we no idea what was expected of us.
I'm not saying you need to lower your expectations. It is not a bad thing to have healthy expectations of ourselves and others. But, if the actions of others are affecting you, it may be change them or make sure the other person knows what the expectation is. COMMUNICATION IS KEY. Also, how we react when something doesn't go your way, or someone doesn't do what you expected them to do is on us, not them. Remember, we can only control ourselves, no one else.
Worry About What YOU Can Control
Harboring a grudge or feeling of anger toward someone who has NO IDEA that you are even upset with them only hurts YOU. Why be that person? Not only is it exhausting, it may be detrimental to your health. There is scientific evidence that our emotions can cause physical issues. Scientists are just now putting together the link between fibromyalgia and unprocessed negative emotions experienced in childhood trauma.
In a study on pubmed.com dated December 2014 titled, Childhood Traumatic Experiences, Anxiety, and Depression Levels in Fibromyalgia and Rheumatoid Arthritis, "The close relationship between chronic pain, anxiety, depression, and childhood traumatic experiences is well known. Both patients with fibromyalgia and patients with rheumatoid arthritis have high levels of childhood traumatic experiences and depression. Patients with pain-related disorders should be examined for childhood traumatic experiences, anxiety, and depression for better treatment outcomes." This is just one study, there are many more to look at.
Henry Ford once said "Whether you think you can, or you think can't. You are right".
Today when I started writing this blog article a friend of mine asked FB friends about an inexpensive car for his child. This was one of the posts that followed. This was so wonderfully said, I just wanted to share his comment. It was regarding buying a junky first car for a new driver.
Charles Tank stated, "I learned early in life that sometimes shit doesn’t go the way you planned. I also learned to easily give up material things that were fun and a good idea at the time and not sweat it. I had many cars as a young lad. Never blew an engine but something always seemed to happen that made the car unusable. Bottom line is life is not what some may think as a bowl of unicorns farting rainbows. In fact, most of the time, it just generally sucks. What matters and makes it tolerable or even sometimes turning it around in your favor is your attitude on how you handle it."