Sometimes it's Better to Smile and Nod
I love the phrase, "sometimes it's better to smile and nod". In other words, pick your battles.
I have so many friends come to me and ask me how I do it. How am I able to keep my sanity in an insane industry? I tell them, "sometimes it's better to smile and nod."
I have learned that no matter how much I want to tell someone something, if they are not ready to hear it, why bother? They are not listening to me except to respond. They are not hearing my educated and possibly unsolicited advice as anything other than biding their time to give me their response. Sometimes it's better to smile and nod.
My husband, being the wonderful business man that he is has told me numerous times not to engage. Yet, I find that sometimes I just can't help myself! You know... when someone is spouting off insane and uneducated recommendations. It is hard NOT to say something because I don't want anyone to be hurt. I truly do want to help. Sometimes it's better to just smile and nod.
I can be in the midst of a conversation with someone where the conversation turns to essential oils. We all know it can be a HOT topic. I will see out of the corner of my eye my husband stiffens up when he knows they may say something I might take issue with. We may even lock eyes, or he will squeeze my hand. That's my cue, sometimes it's better to smile and nod.
Not everyone is ready or even willing to hear what you have to say. Many people talk yet do not hear what the other person is saying. You cannot force someone to be open to your suggestions. Sometimes it's better to smile and nod.
The term cognitive dissonance has been thrown around a lot lately. According to wikipedia, "In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort experienced by a person who simultaneously holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values. This discomfort is triggered by a situation in which a belief of a person clashes with new evidence perceived by that person." Your educated information may be causing all kinds of issues with the information they believe to be true. So, this can trigger an argument or explosive dialogue. Sometimes it's better to smile and nod.
In the online world where social media is a mainstay in many lives, it is easy to get sucked in. Keyboard warriors are out in full force attacking anyone and everyone. A keyboard warrior is someone who will pick a fight or "say" mean things to another, even to the point of bullying. Why? Because they can hide behind their keyboard where they feel safe. These people would NEVER think to act this way if the person they were speaking to was face to face. Sometimes it's better to smile and nod.
Pick your battles. Assess the situation. If someone is truly open to the information, share away. However, if they are not even listening and only responding, sometimes it's better to smile and nod. Then walk away. Sometimes they are not worth the time or energy because they are either not listening or not ready to hear what you have to say. Never underestimate the power of planting a seed.... just know when to abandon ship and walk away. That doesn't mean you are giving up or changing your view, you just chose to spend your time and energy doing something else. It isn't about being "right", it's about protecting yourself and your emotions too.
I wish you all luck in this. If you figure it out, please let me know because this is something I struggle with. Less and less lately though. I have chosen to pick my battles. It's not that I don't care, I really do. I want to help everyone. But... trying to change the mind of someone who isn't even open to it isn't a battle I want to take on. Sometimes it's best to smile and nod while taking the high road. It can be way too draining....
If you have any questions or would like to send a private message, please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. Have a wonderfully, beautiful day!
Love and light,