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Healing is not Easy, but it is Necessary

 

 

About 6 months ago I had a run-in with a fellow student.  I commented on a very touchy subject that she took offense to.  Her reaction was to lash out and question my abilities which was extremely hurtful.  I truly was taken aback as her comments were so much harsher than they needed to be and my comments were not personal, however, hers were.

 

What I have been learning over the past few months is that healing takes place at many levels.  Not only do we have physical healing of pain, skin eruptions and such, but the most important kind of healing is at the emotional and mental level.  This interaction with the student rattled me quite a bit, causing me to take a deeper look at myself and see why it was affecting me so profoundly.  Why should I care that this almost stranger was saying mean things?  Wasn’t I better than that?

 

Time passed and things got a little better, but there was always this hostility toward me.  It was starting to affect me physically as the night before class weekend my legs and feet would swell up and retain water.  It was getting painful.  Then I would have burning pain in my feet, especially my toes.  This happened every Thursday before class and went away Monday after class.  I had no idea the animosity created between the 2 of us was causing these physical issues.

 

2 weeks ago, this person decided she needed to take a step back from school and focus on her family.  At first, I admit I was elated.  I was elated beyond belief as I too was considering dropping into the next class because her energy was affecting me  It was causing me not to want to go to class.  Mind you, I am extremely passionate about homeopathy and I waited a year to join the class I am in, it would have been a huge blow, but I just couldn’t take it anymore, my body was trying to tell me things were not good but I wasn't listening.  

 

After the elation wore off, I was genuinely heartbroken.  Not for me, but for her.  All of us in the class got here for different reasons.  Many were extremely bad off health wise and homeopathy helped, so we wanted to learn to help others.  I felt bad for her.  The decision to leave could not have been easy.  Even though I was considering it, I just couldn’t do it.

 

Well, crazy enough, when she wasn’t in class on Friday and I knew she wasn’t going to be, I DID NOT SWELL UP.  I had no swelling what-so-ever!  It was then that I put 2 and 2 together.  The animosity between the 2 of us was affecting me so profoundly!  Yay!  I thought I was done interacting with her when she sent me a rude message Friday night. I saw it Saturday morning.  BAM!  By the end of class my legs had swelled up again.

 

One of my classmates reached out to me and said, “this is a profound healing moment for you Melissa!  What a perfect opportunity this person gave you to provide closure and work on the part of you that is being triggered by this."  SHE WAS RIGHT!!!!  Why was this bothering me so much, why did I even care?  Why was this person affecting me in such a physical way when my heart was hurting the most?